Worlds Best Alabama Bidet

Hey, y’all!

This was the greeting I received as I stepped up to the order window at Sam's Worlds Best Cheeseburgers in Blue Springs, Alabama. We skipped lunch, so at 2:30, after traveling 5+ hours, setting up the camper in 96° with 95% humidity, walking the dog, and visiting the campground restroom, we were hot, hungry, and in no mood to take advantage of those great Publix BOGO deals. The ranger at Blue Springs State Park near Clio, AL suggested Sam's, so off we went.

Notice there is no apostrophe in "Worlds"
which is probably some legal technicality.
Or not.

Dave stayed in the truck's A/C with Trooper while I, sweaty, wet hair, soaked shirt and capris, and very tired, stepped up to Sam's order window. "Hey, y'all! How ya doin'?" I'm assuming this was a rhetorical question. She didn't really want to know how I was doin'. So instead we discussed the menu, sides, and burger toppings. "Just go on and sit in yer truck. I'll wave when it's done." Sure 'nuff, soon the window opened and a sweet southern wave told us our Worlds Best meal was ready. 

Holy Hamburger, Batman! This burger had 1/3 pound of juicy cooked-just-right meat, generous lathering of mayo, mustard, and ketchup, and crispy, fresh lettuce! The onions and (Dave's) tomatoes were also garden-fresh. Truly amazing, and we were so full from this lunch that we skipped dinner.

So, here we are in the boonies of Alabama, at Blue Springs State Park. The water is 68° and a welcome refreshment on hot August days. I'm thinking maybe we will take a quick dip later on. But first things first. Remember that when we arrived we needed to use the campground facilities. 

Now, I don't want to get too detailed here, but there are only two stalls in the ladies' side, Regular and Handicap. The latter had water on the floor, running down toward a drain near the showers, so I opted for the former. As I rose from my porcelain perch, I pressed the handle and was immediately sprayed with pressurized spring-temp water all over my backside! I continued rising, much faster now, and turned to see where the water source was. There was a leak in the pipe behind the fixture, and it was gushing all over the seat, me, and anything else within 3 feet. Is this what they mean by Roll Tide? 

Once the initial shock was over, the cold water actually felt good, and by the time the tide subsided, I was  pretty wet. I decided it paired well with sweat.

So that's an Alabama Bidet. No extra charge.